


Ghosting

by why64



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Angst, Death, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Human Gamzee, Human Tavros Nitram, Humanstuck, LGBT, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-09
Updated: 2018-07-09
Packaged: 2019-06-07 23:47:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15230721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/why64/pseuds/why64
Summary: Tavros doesn't know what to do with himself after Gamzee's suicide last year. He especially doesn't know what to do with himself when he sees a ghost in his house. The ghost is Gamzee Makara.





	Ghosting

**Author's Note:**

> TW: Suicide
> 
> Fanfic inspired by "Ghosting" by Mother Mother

Your name is Tavros Nitram and your best friend killed himself.  
It was a quick snap to a rope.  
You were devastated.  
This was truly the end.

After you fiddle with the keys to your apartment, you manage to get in and drop your backpack down. College was eating at you. All those assignments and projects you have to make— it’s fucking exhausting. You knew tonight wasn’t going to be a good one. Fuck.  
Gamzee died almost a year ago; you still think about him every day. You thought about him everyday when he was alive, sober or not. You definitely had a thing for him, yet you didn’t say a word to him. What would he have said? How would he have responded? Would he like you back? The thought of that makes your heart skip. But remembering his fucking casket at the funeral makes your stomach drop and heart stop.  
You decide to go to the bathroom. When you get there, you notice it’s a freezing cold bathroom. You never felt it this cold. It also smelled of some familiar soda.  
You go to the bathroom and wash your hands. You look up at the mirror and analyze yourself. Your baggy eyes, huge eyebrows, old septum piercing, and your noticeable double chin makes you want to kill yourself. The thought of all those things on a human sucks.  
You decide to go to your bedroom for the most ultimate nap. This shit will be awesome. You make your way into your bedroom and flop onto the bed. Maybe you’ll get some sleep this time around. That doesn’t happen too often anymore.

You wake up to a large bang in the other room. You jerk up from your bed and kick your feet to the ground. You don’t have anything by your bed to defend yourself. You remove the pillow sheet from your pillow; maybe you could choke an intruder with that. Hell, what are you even saying, of course you can’t to that. You’re fucking weak. So weak.  
Exiting the bedroom, you hold the pillow sack to your chest. The noise sounded like it came from the bedroom. It must have.  
You peek your head into the bathroom. Yes, there was definitely someone in here. You feel tears at the corners of your eyes as you step in more, and you tighten your grip around the pillow case. You notice something. No, someone. It was Gamzee Makara.

Gamzee looked just like how he used to. Tall, extremely skinny, lanky arms and legs, and a mop for hair. He had dark skin and even darker hair. He was fucking beautiful.  
You had nothing to say. What even was there to say? He was sitting on the bathtub with his legs spread out looking at you with that sly grin he always did when you were nervous or scared. You back up into a wall in fear.  
“Gamzee?! What the fuck!?” You shout. Maybe it was an intruder dressing up as Gamzee. Maybe it was someone pulling a prank at you. You glance at the clock on the sink. 3:26 AM. Fuck.  
“Tav!” Gamzee said. His voice, oh god his voice. It was exactly how it used to sound. So low and groggy; it was so attractive without him even trying. “Hey buddy.” He got up from the bathtub and made his way closer to you. You’re so afraid you couldn’t move. You just couldn’t.  
“G-G-Gamzee,” you whisper. He was inches away from you. Was he going to hurt you? Is he actually dead? Oh god, what if he faked it. He couldn’t have, he’s not that smart. No one is. “What are y-you doing here? W-What are you doing here?” Tears began to roll down your red cheeks. You missed him so much, and he’s right here in front of you. Gamzee was here.  
“Wanted to see my motherfucking brother, ya know?” He said, ending his sentence in a laugh. “Why ya so scared Tavbro?” he asked, his smile fading.  
“Y-You’re uh, you’re dead.” You mutter.  
“Ah, about that,” Gamzee rolled his eyes, still holding that gorgeous smile of his. “Yeah. Yeah I’m dead.”  
Him saying he was dead made your stomach drop. You know he’s dead. You know he’s never coming back, ever. But what the fuck is he doing here?  
“Why did you kill yourself?” You ask. You had to know. He seemed so happy in photos or when he was with you. You didn’t know he was suffering so badly. You had no fucking clue.  
“Y’see Tav,” Gamzee started. “Some things just aren't made to be. I wasn’t made to motherfucking be alive. I guess that won’t make sense though, right? Probably. But I came back to just be with you, Tav. I wanted to hear your voice again…” He whispered. He moved closer to you. You felt it get colder and colder the more he went towards you. “You’re my best friend.”  
Best friend. Nothing more, nothing less. Just best friend.  
You nod and look up at him. You wanted to lean in and kiss him. You obviously couldn’t. You're his best friend. Nothing more  
“Gamzee, I,” you pause. What is there to even say? “Are you a ghost or something?” You mumble.  
“Let’s just say I’m not not a ghost,” he chuckled. It was so fucking cute. “But I’m here. I have to go soon though. But before I do....” Gamzee whispers. He leans forward. You feel a light breeze pass your lips. He kissed you.  
You could feel fireworks in your heart. You couldn’t feel it, but you knew it was a kiss. Your dead best friend, kissing you at 3:30 AM. It was wonderful, no, amazing. You were so calm and happy. You felt so loved.  
You wanted to ask more questions and get more answers, but when you opened your eyes after the kiss, Gamzee was gone. He was nowhere to be seen. All you saw was a purple bottle of Faygo sitting where he sat on the bathtub. You pick it up and take a swig of it. You didn’t care it tasted like warm cough syrup; it was his. He was gone. Your dead best friend is gone for real this time.  
You felt okay. You felt sad, but okay. You brought the bottle of Faygo into your room and placed it on the table besides your bed. You flop down on your bed and close your eyes. You could feel him sleeping next to you. You were at peace.  
Gamzee was in your dreams the whole night.


End file.
